The Realism Excuse

Yesterday was election day here in Alberta. Nothing seems to bring out the range of optimism, pessimism, and realism like a good election. The social media response to the results of the election drew up so many different feelings in me (and obviously those around me) that I knew I had to explore this topic in more detail. Whereas the actual results of the election are not so much an issue to me here, the reactions of the people are.

Already, I have watched people celebrate, I have watched people pout, but nothing affected me like the "come back to reality" speeches. First, I'd like to point out that the realism is mainly directed at the optimistic celebrations, not at the pessimistic grumbles. Few realists are taking the time to assure the pessimists that the world is not as grim as it may seem, that democratic governments are temporary and that their lives are not over because a new group of people with a few different ideas now run the province. No, realism is mainly directed at the optimists, pointing out that we should not celebrate so soon since governments, especially ones elected with such high expectations and as a clear protest to the former government, do not tend to last more than one term in our current social and economic climate. Phew... Now that I got that off my chest, what is realism anyway?

Realism is the idea that we must approach the world from an objective point of view, taking a situation as it "really" is, using carefully gathered and "provable" evidence to influence our decisions and our actions. Some describe realism as the middle ground between optimism and pessimism, but I tend to disagree with that. I have seen optimistic realists and I have seen pessimistic realists. Optimism and pessimism aren't so much about ignoring reality in favour of either a positive or negative viewpoint, but about explanatory style, meaning how you explain the things that happen in your world. Put very simply, if you have something you believe to be negative happen in your life, you can decide that it's all your fault and things will always be the same (pessimism), or you can choose to believe that you did the best you could and will have better outcomes in the future (optimism). The amount of realism involved in either the perceived negative event or the explanation is often independent of whether you are being optimistic or pessimistic.

I have a couple of problems with realism. First, at a higher philosophical level, it is impossible to truly perceive reality. We all experience life through our own senses, beliefs, perceptions, and filters. The study of eyewitness memory gives a fascinating glimpse into how what we perceive and what "really" happened have so little in common as to be laughable. To proclaim that one knows what is "real," simply because we belong in the camp of the majority of believers, or perhaps in the camp of the most scientific of believers, is unwise at best. But this is really the least of my objections to realism.

Some might say that by objecting to realism, I am saying it's okay to pretend that something isn't happening. Quite the opposite actually; in my experience, I find that realism is often used as an excuse to deny what is really happening within oneself. Realism is a way to use the outside world to dismiss the inside world. Our internal experience, in particular our feelings, are just as real as the events that happen out in the "real" world. Often, when we are telling ourselves (or others) to be realistic, we are saying that we should dismiss any feelings we may be experiencing in favour of caution and reason. As a recovering realist, I understand that this is often all done in order to avoid pain. If you dare to hope, celebrate, and rejoice at your current circumstances, you open yourself up to possible disappointment when outer circumstances change again. And if you dare to be angry and disappointed with your current circumstances, you are opening yourself up to the pain you already have within you. If you take a "realistic" approach, you are closing your heart down to your current reality in order to prevent a future let-down, or perhaps to dull the pain of a current one.

So if you are angry, sad, or disappointed - feel it! And if you are happy, elated, or hopeful - feel it! Don't use a realistic argument to deny what it is you feel now. There will be time enough to deal with what happens in the future, there in the future. Now, I'm going to go celebrate with a piece of cake!

Image: foto76 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

© Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.