Following the Rules

I'm really good at following the rules. And goodness knows that people are fond of coming up with rules; we have everything from multiple levels of government laws, to basic social rules, rules for every type of game, sport or gathering, and even our own personal unspoken rules. Rules give us a sense of safety and control over our environment and our relationships. We even categorize people by their reactions and relationships with rules: criminals, rebels, goody two-shoes', and, of course, lawyers. Can we really even hope to follow all the rules we come across?

Everyone, based on their personality, their up-bringing, and their experiences chooses which rules they will follow and which they won't. Some might argue that government laws are the most important to follow, but I think that social rules are where people are under the most pressure to conform (laws and social rules often match-up, but not always). Of course, social rules are not uniform, but vary across age, gender, family, culture, race and social setting, just to name a few. But enough dry social studies - what happens when your spirit, your intuition, your life tells you to break the rules?

Now, if you choose to consciously follow a spiritual path, I'm pretty certain this is going to happen to you, if it hasn't already. At some point, you may be called to break a social rule or ten. Oh, and please don't get me wrong here, if you're getting the feeling you should rob a bank or abandon your children, chances are it's not your spirit that you're talking to. But if you're getting the call to parent differently than the rest your family, to change your diet or clothes in a way that might make you stand out from your friends, or to start to be openly honest about what (or who) you love even though it makes others uncomfortable, it's a feeling you should really pay attention to.

You see, part of the whole reason for being on Earth at all is to discover yourself: what you like, what you're good at, what you love, what is easy for you, and equally, what you don't like and what's a challenge for you. Now as nice as it would be, if you grew up surrounded with people who think and feel exactly the way you do (which is really impossible anyway), how would you really discover who you are? In that sort of case, there would be no real discovery, no drive for you to embrace and cherish who you are as an individual. So you see, you're very likely meant to find yourself in at least one situation in your life where you need to be different from those around you.

As I said before, I'm good at following the rules. I did that really well for a long time. I studied engineering in university for over four years and I was a computer programmer for six more years. And then I heard the call to be different - to be me. Seemingly out-of-nowhere, I quit my job and the entire social world that came with it in order to study holistic health and shortly thereafter become a stay-at-home mother. These decisions were not logical and sensible as engineers are supposed to be, nor did they fit my image of an intelligent and modern career woman. It was a hard decision but the pain of not following my heart had finally exceeded the pain of not following the social rules I was exposed to.

Anyone I've talked to who has made this kind of change in their life describe some things in common. The decision to break the rules and be true to themselves was difficult or even agonizing, but once the change was made, they never regretted the decision. When you are following the rules, who are you being true to? Are they your rules or something you picked up from those around you? You don't have to wait until the pain of not being you catches up with you. You are being given every opportunity to be yourself - when will you choose to accept?

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© Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Good Intentions

When I first started studying BodyTalk, I was intrigued by the idea that a BodyTalk practitioner was asked not to set any sort of intention for the session, but simply pay attention. It was emphasized that "[w]hen you proceed with intent, you are proceeding toward a goal with bias and expectations derived from past training and experiences."^[1] This was in such contrast to much of the alternative healing world, where intentions are constantly set, clarified, and focused-on. So, naturally, it got me thinking...

Let's start with the premise that everything that happens is in one's best interest. (If you don't follow me on that one, it's a whole other blog post). In that case, why would you ever need to set an intention at all? If everything is all in God's perfect order, then there is absolutely no reason to set intention - at least, no reason to set intention about outcome.

I think we have to come down to a bit of a redefinition of intention, and it's different varieties. First of all, there's the kind of intention that describes an outcome.

• I intend to make a million dollars.
• I intend to have healthy lungs.
• I intend to start my own business.

These intentions aren't really intentions, they're goals. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with goals, but whether or not you achieve them is not ultimately under your full control, even though it can seem like it is. These outcomes are all wonderful things, but you will only experience the outcomes if they are truly in your highest and best interest. If you are strongly attached to the possible outcomes, you might find it rather painful if you don't get what you want.

What other kind of intentions are there? I suppose you could intend to have "better" emotions or thoughts.

• I intend to feel happy.
• I intend to feel enthusiastic about my diet.
• I intend to think positive thoughts about my job.

Now, I'll certainly admit that we appear to have a great deal more "control" over our emotions, and even more over our thoughts, than we do over physical outcomes. And while working to "improve" our thoughts and feelings is a wonderful leap in consciousness from just plainly being miserable about everything that happens in our lives, what happens when we look even deeper? What if even our thoughts and emotions are just Divinely perfect as they are? What if, in intending to change our thoughts and feelings, we are missing the opportunity to accept them as they are? At that level, you might say that these mental/emotional intentions are also outcome intentions.

This is where I was left wondering if intention had any true purpose at all? If you take away outcomes, whether physical, emotional or mental, what do you have left? Well, I think what's left are qualities of the soul or spirit. I'm talking about things like love, patience, kindness, attentiveness, hope, strength, faith, and peace, among many others. These are things that you do not do or feel, but things that you are. I mean that you already naturally carry all of these qualities, so the intention is not necessarily to become these things, but to bring them into practice in your life. If you're wondering about the difference between a soul quality and a feeling, try pairing the thing in question with what you know to be an "opposite" feeling and see if what you get is mixed feelings or independent things. Can I be angry and happy? I would call that having mixed feelings. Can you be angry and patient? It may not be easy, but it's absolutely possible. It isn't an exact test, but it might be helpful.

I'm not saying that intending to embody these soul qualities will instantly turn you into a different person. Intentions just give an indication to your unconscious mind as to what you would like, and the unconscious weighs that with it's previous requests to choose your reactions. In other words, it takes some practice. But if you focus your intentions on these soul qualities, you're focusing on the things you actually have some influence over and helping the process of you becoming your true self. By setting good intentions, you're opening the door for your true self to come through.

[1] Dr. John Veltheim and Sylvia Muiznieks, BodyTalk Fundamentals. 8th ed. Sarasota, FL: PaRama LLC, 2011, 51

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© Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Emotional Pain Experiment

Emotional pain is so completely misunderstood, it's astounding. As I've considered the topic over the last few days, I've changed my understanding of it a few times, and I can't promise that I won't change my mind again. Is pain intrinsic to the so-called negative emotions? Is pain simply a result of resistance to the emotion? Can happiness be painful or is painful happiness just a compound of multiple emotions? Every time I answer one question, I seem to come up with another.

I've long been fond of the idea that the pain and suffering associated with certain emotions is due to our resistance or judgement of those emotions. It's not just that you're sad, but that you're trying to tell yourself not to be sad. It's not just that you're angry but that you believe anger isn't a good thing. It's a helpful point of view in that it can lead you to at least attempt to accept all your emotions. It dispels the notion that the emotions are your enemy. Now, it does turn resistance into an enemy, but that's a new, deeper realization for me. In any case, I think it can be a useful paradigm to consider.

But thanks to Matt Kahn (TrueDivineNature.com), I started to wonder if the pain of an emotion could have nothing to do with my beliefs about the emotion. I wanted to know if I could have a painful emotion that I wasn't resisting, so I started an experiment. I prayed for guidance and it wasn't long before I had my answer. For some not-so-unknown reason, that same night I decided to watch the news. I usually don't bother with the news any more, but that night was different. For the sake of other sensitive souls out there, I won't go into the details of the story I saw, but it was terrible and I was quickly triggered into a deep state of grief. Thankfully, I was alone so I didn't feel the need to hide my tears, and for the sake of this experiment, I dove right into the feelings. As far as I could sense, I had no judgement or resistance to these feelings, and yet the pain I experienced was intense. Those who advocate for the "pain is resistance" paradigm might explain this by saying that my resistance was unconscious to me. I admit that it's a possibility but it's just not what I really felt to be happening.

Thankfully, whether the pain came from something I created or not, the best way to react to the pain is the same. Please don't be shocked if I say that the answer is love (this is a spiritual blog after all)! You see, just as with physical pain, the stronger the emotional pain, the more attention it needs. In the physical world, attention may mean some physical solution such as a band-aid or even surgery; in the emotional world, the best (and only) cure is love. And while, being held by someone else while you're in your pain can definitely be helpful, the love that's really needed is yours. The length of time the pain lasts says nothing about you or your ability to give love, it just means that you need to keep bringing on the love. Sit with the pain and let it know that you are there - you accept it completely and you give it all the love it can take. That's what I did with my pain. Eventually, it passed and I lived to tell the tale.

Okay, I admit that it isn't necessarily easy to jump into one's deepest, darkest pain and shower it with love. But you don't have to start with the deepest and darkest. Start with the "smaller" pain and give the love a try. Do you feel better afterwards? When you think about the cause of the emotion, do you still feel the pain? The goal of this isn't to get rid of your emotions - we're not trying to become spiritual robots. But I think the pain is a charge on the emotion that we don't have to live with forever.

I'd love to know if this helps you. Feel the love and leave me a comment!

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© Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Listen to Your Heart - It Knows More Than You Think

A few nights ago, I decided to start blogging again. Naturally, I got very excited about the prospect - and then I remembered the first step. I have to name the blog. I love naming my work! Well, I love it for about 24 hours, and then I'm overwhelmed with my lack of progress in picking the absolute perfect can't-be-faulted, everyone-loves-it, has-the-right-energy name. Really, it takes a miracle to satisfy the laundry list of things I want in a blog name.

So, after a couple of days of mental searching, I knew I wasn't getting anywhere. My mind had been racing in circles, reviewing my criteria and throwing out possible themes and names. All it took was a moment for me to remember that I should take a deep breath and check in with my heart. As I took my breath and turned inwards, I heard, as clear as can be: "the answer is in your heart." At once, I knew how to get the answer I needed and that was, in fact, the answer itself. The blog became "Heart Answers" and I didn't need to check if anyone else liked it, or see if the numerology fit, or anything else; it was just right.

I think that Western culture and education teach pretty strongly that anything you might need to know, you can figure out with your mind. Read some books, do some research and you'll find what you need. I can't fault the logic with that and I'm a big fan of reading books and doing research. After all, I was always a model student, but the academic approach has its limits. It can't truly answer the deeper questions we might find. The mind would almost always lead us into different choices than our hearts, and while I cannot say that the choices of the mind are in any way wrong, they may tend to cause us more pain in the long run.

For example, when I started writing this post, my very first in a long time, it started with a completely different train of thought. I had created a logical segue into the naming of the blog, but no matter how I tweaked it, it didn't feel right. Thankfully, I have learned to hear and respect that feeling, so again, I turned inward and started over. I believe this blog is going to be a constant exercise in remembering to return to my heart, which makes it an even more exciting prospect for me. And as I share what my heart brings to me, I hope you also learn to find answers in your own heart. I want to hear how the information on this blog has changed you. I invite you to share your experiences with me through the comments.

Thanks for reading and may you be blessed with answers from your heart!

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© Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.