Comfort Confusion

I am the Queen of Comfort. I have always been physically sensitive so it's been important to me to choose clothes and furniture that keep me feeling comfortable. If I'm not physically comfortable, I find it difficult to concentrate. I've also been prone to worrying so I create lists and plans to keep me mentally comfortable. Then there's the whole emotional comfort zone - I like to avoid any situations that make me feel stressed, angry, or too fearful. I don't think I'm alone either. We have a whole culture devoted to prizing comfort in its many forms and we painstakingly arrange our lives around our comforts. But why is comfort so important to us and what does it really do for us?

In a way, comfort is a measure of your judgement. What you are comfortable with is what you have judged to be okay in your life, and what you are uncomfortable with is what you have judged to be inappropriate to your life. Note that this isn't the same as what is wanted or unwanted in your life. You can want to have joy, but be uncomfortable with feeling joy because of judgement of that joy; that judgement can be based on any number of events (or lack thereof) in your experience. Comfort is saying "I'm okay with this," so we look to repeat the experiences that we have judged to be acceptable and familiar in our lives. Going outside of our comfort zone means not knowing or not liking whatever feelings (whether physical, mental, or emotional) we will experience.

Matt Kahn (TrueDivineNature.com) said that one of the most damaging beliefs people have is that comfort creates harmony. I see that as people looking for a form of eternity in a temporary sense of comfort. I think that if I can feel comfortable all of the time, then I no longer have anything to worry about. We struggle so desperately to fill eternity with comforts that are by their very nature transient. At a certain level, we recognize these comforts to be temporary, so we try to fill our lives with quantity of comfort; more chocolate cake, more shopping, more TV time, more relationships, more vacations, more parties, more alone time, and so on and so on. We resent anything that removes us from our comforts and fear never being able to get enough, and that is a valid fear because when you are searching for eternity in a temporary experience, you're bound to be disappointed eventually.

I'm not saying that we are wrong to search for comfort in our temporary world. It is a necessary part of our journey to experiment with finding comfort outside of ourselves, just as it is necessary to fail in such a search. Every disappointment is a call to show you that what you are doing isn't working. How long will it take for you to see the proof the world is giving you that the eternity and harmony you are looking for is not in your particular choice of comforts? The harmony and eternity are what can be found inside yourself. When you find your true nature and become familiar with the amazing love that you are, you find harmony, and that in turn creates comfort in your life, no matter what the situation.

If I have been the Queen of Comfort, I guess it's because I needed a lot of evidence that comfort isn't what I'm looking for, and I wanted that evidence fast. I don't think I'm quite ready to drop the title yet but I've been discovering more and more experiences of my own harmony creating comfort where I found none before. So, I say "All Hail the Queen of Comfort!" Nothing less than that will bring me back to my own harmony.

Image: ponsulak / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

© Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Amelie Rossignol and Heart Answers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.